I have recently had the pleasure of re-uniting with a long lost friend. I have also recently re-connected through e-mail with another long lost friend I haven’t seen him yet but I'm sure that I will. I have 2 other long lost friends that are still lost, but I’ll get to them later.
First is Steve Edwards. Steve and I were in a band together about 23 years ago. I left the band and I think I may have stopped in once or twice at their gigs to say hi and sit in and sing a song but that was within a couple years of leaving the band. After that I lost touch with all of them. I have still been singing here and there but not like I used to and so have not run into or heard from any of the band members in all this time. Around the holidays I ran into a woman that I knew initially through Steve one night at a bar and asked her if she ever saw Steve Edwards anymore and she said yes that she was doing a gig with him that weekend! I asked for his number and I called him later that week and then went to see him where he was playing. It was great to see him again. He had me sit in and sing a few songs. That was cool. it was good to see him again.
Then there’s Howard Kutzly. Now how could you forget a guy with a name like that? Seriously though, even though Howard was originally a friend of my Ex-husband Dane Thompson I always liked Howard. When my marriage fell apart I lost touch with Howard but I’ve often thought of him over the years and wondered how he was doing. So I wasn’t looking for Howard or anything but I found him again anyway and I think it was in a pretty funny way. See I was browsing the site Craigslist because I was bored one day and I came across a post from a woman lamenting her broken heart and the broken heart of her child and going on and on about how this guy had wooed her gotten her pregnant and then went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back. Well this was the MO of my Ex although he usually eventually came back but did eventually abandon me and our son for good never to be heard from (or to get a child support check from) again. So I posted back “His name wasn’t Dane Thompson was it?” Well she never answered me so I don’t know if it was or wasn’t but then I got the brilliant idea to post a sort of public service announcement warning women about Dane Thompson. I don’t know if I helped any women to avoid that particular hell but what did happen was that I got an e-mail from Howard Kutzly! I guess I gave just enough information in my post so that if someone knew me or my ex they would know it was me. We’ve been exchanging e-mails and I’m sure that we’ll get together one of these days and I hope it’s soon, cause I always Liked Howard a lot.
So this got me thinking about the power of the internet and all and I’m wondering if anyone can help me find 2 other long lost friends that I would really love to re-connect with. One is Susan Mathis. Susan and I sung together in my dad’s big band when we were in our early 20’s and became really good friends. We kept in touch for quite a while after that even when she moved to the Los Angeles area to sing with none other than Steve Vai. Unfortunately she then met the man of her dreams who turned out actually to be the man of her nightmares. He turned out to be physically and emotionally abusive to her and their 2 children all the while proclaiming to be a religious man. I believe he was Mormon. Now, I’m not bashing Mormons. I’m sure that it’s a perfectly lovely religion if you go for that sort of thing but he turned out to be such a monster that she ran all the way back home to her parents in Louisiana just to get away from him. The last time I spoke with Susan on the phone she was living in the new Orleans area so I have thought and worried) about her a lot since Hurricane Katrina. I can only hope that she’s OK and I haven’t talked to her in probably 16 years. So if anyone knows Susan Mathis please have her send me an e-mail at julievaughn777@comcast.net Ok?
My other long lost friend that I would really like to reconnect with is Lynne Morgan. Lynne is actually another person that I met through my ex-husband around the same time frame as I met Howard. Lynne and I became very good friends and she helped me immensely through the breakup of my marriage. She left the area and moved to Mill Valley, which really isn’t that far away but I have since lost touch with her, and I also still owe her $500.00 which I still don’t have but I STILL really want to re-connect with her because she was just an awesome person and I loved her dearly. She was in advertising and as far as I know still is. If anyone knows Lynne please have her e-mail me at julievaughn777@comcast.net ok?
Thanks. That is all for today.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Friday, March 9, 2007
The Best Dog Ever!
OK I know, this may seem silly but I just have to dedicate at least one post to my dog Casey while it my new blog is still in the infant stages. She is the best dog EVER! She is the cutest and smartest, and most loving dog I have ever had! And besides DOG rhymes with BLOG!
We got Casey from Pets in Need, a local no kill animal shelter about 3 1/2 years ago I guess. She is the most devoted (to me) being that has ever walked the earth and I just want to publicly post even though she can't read yet (even though she is really smart.) So that she knows how much I appreciate her.
Dogs are great, and some dogs are greater than others and I tell you, THIS dog is one great dog! This dog is so smart that she knew just what to do to make sure we took her home instead of one of the other dogs at the shelter. When we met her in the "get acquainted room" She immediately ran to my son, and kissed him all over his face. He looked at me and said “I Like this dog Mom!” The rest was history. She jumped into the car just like she’d been doing it every day and we named her in the car on the way home and I swear she knew her name in like TWO minutes!
She’s just SO SMART!!! She was housebroken in like 10 minutes. I swear that she understands every word we say because if I even say the word “bath” she goes under the bed and the phrase “get the kitty” never fails to throw her into a tizzy. She has a whole bunch of different toys and she knows what every single one of them is called. I'd like to relay a recent "conversation" with Casey so you see what I mean. I said "Go get your Squid girl" (one of her favorite toys) She runs around looking for her Squid but she can't find it so I say "Casey, it's under the bed" and so she dives under the bed and comes back happily with her Squid. See what I mean? She totally understands the English language and she tries to talk all the time and although it currently usually sounds something like Rurururu-ROW-ROW or nynynynow so I think that eventually I can teach her to talk, and from there it shouldn't be a stretch to teach her to sing and rap.
Her real name is Casey but my Pet name for her is Fluppy. So since she’s like the smartest dog in the world (did I mention she's really smart?) So once I teach her to rap and sing I've put together a rap song for her to learn and the plan is to make a music video and make a gazillion bucks. Just the novelty alone would be a draw don’t you think? After-all, I have never yet seen a rap video star that is a canine. And she doesn;t even need make-up, cuz she always has her eye-liner and beauty marks on, and get this, she didn't have to have them tatooed on! She was BORN with them. See?
I know, some of you are probably thinking I’m nuts, and that if I want to expend energy on a music video that I should do it with my own original music but American Idol and other such shows have me convinced that I'm just too old. After-all, they do have an age limit so that must mean that people just don't want to see 50 year old singers. Fluppy on the other hand is four years old. I think it’s best to start a music career very young these days what with competition being the way it is.
So have you ever heard of Fergie of the Black-Eyed Peas? I have taken her big hit Fergalicious and re-written for my Fluppy to perform in her debut music video. If you’re not familiar with the original you might want to check that out. Where Will I Am, who is the Black guy member of the Black-Eyed Peas that's in the Video, I will have my cat Spot take that part, so just picture that. You can see the original lyrics at this web page Lyrics
and here’s a link to the Fergalicious Video video
So imagine the Fergalicious beat and sound and you can get a pretty good idea of what the Flupalicious video will be like. As far as the popping out of the cake part goes, my idea is to have Fluppy’s head pop up out of the top of the cake and then she eats a bunch of it and then barfs. The cool thing is, she won't even have to practice that as long as it's real cake!
Lyrics to Flupalicious
[Spot]
Listen up ya'll, Cuz this is it
The treat that seein is de-li-cious
[Fluppy]
Flupalicious definition make my ma go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
You could see you, you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons
[Hook]
Flupalicious (Flupalicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
I has been Fixed-u-ous
I slurp kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts my mom on WOOF, WOOF
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)
[Chorus]
So delicious (Say Woof, Woof)
So delicious (I put them all on Arf, Arf)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Flupalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)
[Verse 2]
Flupalicious def-, Flupalicious def-, Flupalicious def- [def fading echo]
Flupalicious definition make them all go crazy
They always claim they know me
Comin' to me call me Casey (Hey Casey)
I'm the F to the L, U P P Y
And can't no other puppy put it down like me
[Hook]
I'm Flupalicious (so delicious)
But I’m not vicious
I be up in the yard m just working on my fitness
Mom’s my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' all on WOOF WOOF
And you all be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)
[Chorus]
So delicious (Say Woof, Woof)
So delicious (I put them all on Arf, Arf)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Flupalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)
[Vamp]
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty, I’m just Kissy Casey
It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy
[Spot]
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Fluppy
[Fluppy]
All the time I turn around always brotha's gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my
(uuhh)
I just wanna say it now I ain't tryin to round up drama little mama I don't wanna take your man
And I know I'm comin off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how the boys wanna eat it
But I'm tryin' to tell, that I can't be treated like clientele
Cuz' they say she
[Hook]
Delicious (So delicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
I has been Fixed-u-ous
I slurp kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on WOOF, WOOF
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)
Four, tres, two, uno
My body stay vicious
I be up in the yardjust working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' boy on WOOF, WOOF
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)
[Chorus]
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
I'm Flupalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty
It's so delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
I'm Flupalicious, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t (arf, arf, arf, arf)
[Spot]
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A, to the S T E Y dog you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A, to the, four, tres, two, uno
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, to the, to the.....
(In the Music video we’ll then have Spot run by at the end and then WHOOSH There goes Fluppy out of the Screen after Spot!)
We got Casey from Pets in Need, a local no kill animal shelter about 3 1/2 years ago I guess. She is the most devoted (to me) being that has ever walked the earth and I just want to publicly post even though she can't read yet (even though she is really smart.) So that she knows how much I appreciate her.
Dogs are great, and some dogs are greater than others and I tell you, THIS dog is one great dog! This dog is so smart that she knew just what to do to make sure we took her home instead of one of the other dogs at the shelter. When we met her in the "get acquainted room" She immediately ran to my son, and kissed him all over his face. He looked at me and said “I Like this dog Mom!” The rest was history. She jumped into the car just like she’d been doing it every day and we named her in the car on the way home and I swear she knew her name in like TWO minutes!
She’s just SO SMART!!! She was housebroken in like 10 minutes. I swear that she understands every word we say because if I even say the word “bath” she goes under the bed and the phrase “get the kitty” never fails to throw her into a tizzy. She has a whole bunch of different toys and she knows what every single one of them is called. I'd like to relay a recent "conversation" with Casey so you see what I mean. I said "Go get your Squid girl" (one of her favorite toys) She runs around looking for her Squid but she can't find it so I say "Casey, it's under the bed" and so she dives under the bed and comes back happily with her Squid. See what I mean? She totally understands the English language and she tries to talk all the time and although it currently usually sounds something like Rurururu-ROW-ROW or nynynynow so I think that eventually I can teach her to talk, and from there it shouldn't be a stretch to teach her to sing and rap.
Her real name is Casey but my Pet name for her is Fluppy. So since she’s like the smartest dog in the world (did I mention she's really smart?) So once I teach her to rap and sing I've put together a rap song for her to learn and the plan is to make a music video and make a gazillion bucks. Just the novelty alone would be a draw don’t you think? After-all, I have never yet seen a rap video star that is a canine. And she doesn;t even need make-up, cuz she always has her eye-liner and beauty marks on, and get this, she didn't have to have them tatooed on! She was BORN with them. See?
I know, some of you are probably thinking I’m nuts, and that if I want to expend energy on a music video that I should do it with my own original music but American Idol and other such shows have me convinced that I'm just too old. After-all, they do have an age limit so that must mean that people just don't want to see 50 year old singers. Fluppy on the other hand is four years old. I think it’s best to start a music career very young these days what with competition being the way it is.
So have you ever heard of Fergie of the Black-Eyed Peas? I have taken her big hit Fergalicious and re-written for my Fluppy to perform in her debut music video. If you’re not familiar with the original you might want to check that out. Where Will I Am, who is the Black guy member of the Black-Eyed Peas that's in the Video, I will have my cat Spot take that part, so just picture that. You can see the original lyrics at this web page Lyrics
and here’s a link to the Fergalicious Video video
So imagine the Fergalicious beat and sound and you can get a pretty good idea of what the Flupalicious video will be like. As far as the popping out of the cake part goes, my idea is to have Fluppy’s head pop up out of the top of the cake and then she eats a bunch of it and then barfs. The cool thing is, she won't even have to practice that as long as it's real cake!
Lyrics to Flupalicious
[Spot]
Listen up ya'll, Cuz this is it
The treat that seein is de-li-cious
[Fluppy]
Flupalicious definition make my ma go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
You could see you, you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons
[Hook]
Flupalicious (Flupalicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
I has been Fixed-u-ous
I slurp kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts my mom on WOOF, WOOF
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)
[Chorus]
So delicious (Say Woof, Woof)
So delicious (I put them all on Arf, Arf)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Flupalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)
[Verse 2]
Flupalicious def-, Flupalicious def-, Flupalicious def- [def fading echo]
Flupalicious definition make them all go crazy
They always claim they know me
Comin' to me call me Casey (Hey Casey)
I'm the F to the L, U P P Y
And can't no other puppy put it down like me
[Hook]
I'm Flupalicious (so delicious)
But I’m not vicious
I be up in the yard m just working on my fitness
Mom’s my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' all on WOOF WOOF
And you all be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)
[Chorus]
So delicious (Say Woof, Woof)
So delicious (I put them all on Arf, Arf)
So delicious (they wanna slice of what I got)
Flupalicious (hold hold hold hold hold up, check it out)
[Vamp]
Baby, baby, baby
If you really want me
Honey get some patience
Maybe then you'll get a taste
I'll be tasty, tasty, I’m just Kissy Casey
It's so tasty, tasty, It'll make you crazy
[Spot]
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, hit it Fluppy
[Fluppy]
All the time I turn around always brotha's gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my
(uuhh)
I just wanna say it now I ain't tryin to round up drama little mama I don't wanna take your man
And I know I'm comin off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how the boys wanna eat it
But I'm tryin' to tell, that I can't be treated like clientele
Cuz' they say she
[Hook]
Delicious (So delicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
I has been Fixed-u-ous
I slurp kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on WOOF, WOOF
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got (got, got, got)
Four, tres, two, uno
My body stay vicious
I be up in the yardjust working on my fitness
He's my witness (oooh wee)
I put yo' boy on WOOF, WOOF
And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)
[Chorus]
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
I'm Flupalicious, t-t-t-t-t tasty, tasty
It's so delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
So delicious (arf, arf, arf, arf)
I'm Flupalicious, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t (arf, arf, arf, arf)
[Spot]
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A, to the S T E Y dog you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the (four, tres, two, uno)
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty
T to the A to the S T E Y dog you tasty, T to the A, to the, four, tres, two, uno
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the
D to the E to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E to the, to the, to the, to the, to the.....
(In the Music video we’ll then have Spot run by at the end and then WHOOSH There goes Fluppy out of the Screen after Spot!)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
I think I have figured out the answer to all of my problems.
First let me outline the kind of problems I am referring to as this idea really wouldn't solve all of my problems since I may need years of psychotherapy for some of them. In any case I do work a full time job but still, being the only household member that has a uterus it apparently falls upon me to make sure that the house is taken care of as well as my putting in 8 hours a day at my job. Anyone that’s ever been to my house knows that I’m not what you’d call a great housekeeper. I don’t dust, I don’t do windows, I don’t do floors, I don’t do dishes unless I need to eat something and they are all dirty and then I might wash one plate just so I can eat off of it. Anyway, I think you catch the drift. I’m not really domestically inclined. I like to have a clean house but seeing as I don’t want to be the one to make it that way and nobody else in the house seems to care to make it that way either the house is usually a complete disaster area.
In addition to the house being a mess, my closets and garage are a mess as well. I need someone to help me get organized and then keep me that way.
I also seem to have trouble making sure there are the right groceries in the house, making sure that the right bills get paid on time so that there are no late fees.
It occurred to me that what I really need is a maid/personal assistant. Unfortunately I can’t afford to pay anyone to do this but I had a brilliant idea last night. I can get me an INTERN cause you know, interns don’t get paid but they still have to come to work and do the job. So the way I envision it is that my intern will need to arrive at my house at around 7:30AM so they can make my coffee for me and then get started on the household chores. Once they have dusted and done the floors etc then they can go to work on the finances and make sure that nothing is going to get shut off or have a late fee. Since their sole concern will be my well being they could go out and get me some lunch so that I won’t have to deal with panhandlers although I will be sure to give them tips about how to avoid giving them money. Then after lunch they can start organizing my closets and garage and then if they still have time continue on with the household chores and do some laundry and do the grocery shopping.
Is this a GREAT idea or what??!! The only problem I have now is how do I hire for such a position?
In addition to the house being a mess, my closets and garage are a mess as well. I need someone to help me get organized and then keep me that way.
I also seem to have trouble making sure there are the right groceries in the house, making sure that the right bills get paid on time so that there are no late fees.
It occurred to me that what I really need is a maid/personal assistant. Unfortunately I can’t afford to pay anyone to do this but I had a brilliant idea last night. I can get me an INTERN cause you know, interns don’t get paid but they still have to come to work and do the job. So the way I envision it is that my intern will need to arrive at my house at around 7:30AM so they can make my coffee for me and then get started on the household chores. Once they have dusted and done the floors etc then they can go to work on the finances and make sure that nothing is going to get shut off or have a late fee. Since their sole concern will be my well being they could go out and get me some lunch so that I won’t have to deal with panhandlers although I will be sure to give them tips about how to avoid giving them money. Then after lunch they can start organizing my closets and garage and then if they still have time continue on with the household chores and do some laundry and do the grocery shopping.
Is this a GREAT idea or what??!! The only problem I have now is how do I hire for such a position?
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Today I went crazy on a panhandler
OK, So I used to be a good nice compassionate person but I am so freaking tired of these panhandlers that today that I feel I’ve lost my goodwill. Today, I had a really stressful busy morning at the office and when lunch rolled around I decided to treat myself to lunch at Togo’s even though it takes almost my entire half hour lunch to get there and back and not much time to actually eat the sammich, still I hoped to have time for a few bites so I was happy to see that there was only 2 other people in line ahead of me.
So they make my sammich and all went well, they made it just perfect with extra pickles and peppers just like I like it and things were looking pretty good time-wise. As I exited Togo’s thinking that perhaps I might even be able to eat HALF of this lovely Avocado and Cheese on Parmesan bread my heart sank as I saw a pan handler trying to get money from someone either trying to get into or out of their car just a few stalls away from my car. “Crap! Must leave ASAP” I think to myself.
I tried to hurry and get into the car hoping that she would be busy with the other unfortunate person but no, I was just getting my key into the door when here she comes all smiles and starts to say something to me. Dammit! I’m not going to be able to make a clean getaway and I just did NOT want to deal with her, so I kind of got this wild look in my eyes as she approached me and started to speak but before she could get a word out of her mouth I screamed at her “YOU GET AWAY FROM ME! JUST GET AWAY FROM ME I SAY!!! Well she turned and scurried off faster than you would believe! What?! Wow! I’m going to have to remember that one! That worked pretty well. I may practice that one in the mirror a little just so I look really deranged!
There was a time when I would have given her a quarter maybe but been resentful about it. After-all. I work hard for my money. Why should I simply give it away to someone I don’t even know just because they are having a hard time and what gives them the right to expect it? I mean, it’s not like I don’t donate to charitable causes, I mean, I need the tax write-off you know, and of course there’s also that warm fuzzy I get know that I’ve helped save the whales or that someone else can get some use out of that gaudy bead covered sweater that I thought was so cool back in 1986.
In looking back I realized that my perspective on giving money to panhandlers started to change one day when I was sitting in the Home Depot Parking lot in my car minding my own business waiting for hubby to come of the store with his nuts and bolts. This raggy looking skanky-crack-ho type of woman comes up and knocks on my car window. I roll it down to be polite and she asks in this little wimpy high little voice all nice and respectful like “Excuse me, do you think you could possibly spare a dollar?” well I don’t even have a dollar. I have my ATM card, and 32 cents in my little cupholder thingy in the car and that’s it. I tell her I’m sorry that I don’t have a dollar but here is some change that I have and guess what? She takes it but her whole demeanor changes. Her eyes get this mean glaze over them and her voice got hard and loud and low and she says “yeah well I’ll see what I can do with that!” I was shocked. Here I was giving her my money, which I worked for and it wasn’t good enough, in fact, my 32 cents was apparently an insult! HUH??! I was shocked and I said “Excuse me? The least you can do is say thank you!” She turns around and is all like, “oh I do appreciate it blah blah blah…” yeah right!
Well that really pissed me off and I decided then and there that I wasn’t giving any of more of my money to anyone that asked just because they had the audacity to do so.
So now I’m thinking up more unique ways to get these people away from me when I see them coming, like what if when I see them coming I beat them to the punch and ask them for money! Hey that might send them scurrying faster than my crazy woman approach! Gonna have to try that next time. Yeah! So like, I see one coming and I could say “Hi there, hey, do you think that you could possibly spare ten dollars? I think I lost my wallet and like hey HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING???!!!” BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah. I like it!
Cheers and TTFN.
So they make my sammich and all went well, they made it just perfect with extra pickles and peppers just like I like it and things were looking pretty good time-wise. As I exited Togo’s thinking that perhaps I might even be able to eat HALF of this lovely Avocado and Cheese on Parmesan bread my heart sank as I saw a pan handler trying to get money from someone either trying to get into or out of their car just a few stalls away from my car. “Crap! Must leave ASAP” I think to myself.
I tried to hurry and get into the car hoping that she would be busy with the other unfortunate person but no, I was just getting my key into the door when here she comes all smiles and starts to say something to me. Dammit! I’m not going to be able to make a clean getaway and I just did NOT want to deal with her, so I kind of got this wild look in my eyes as she approached me and started to speak but before she could get a word out of her mouth I screamed at her “YOU GET AWAY FROM ME! JUST GET AWAY FROM ME I SAY!!! Well she turned and scurried off faster than you would believe! What?! Wow! I’m going to have to remember that one! That worked pretty well. I may practice that one in the mirror a little just so I look really deranged!
There was a time when I would have given her a quarter maybe but been resentful about it. After-all. I work hard for my money. Why should I simply give it away to someone I don’t even know just because they are having a hard time and what gives them the right to expect it? I mean, it’s not like I don’t donate to charitable causes, I mean, I need the tax write-off you know, and of course there’s also that warm fuzzy I get know that I’ve helped save the whales or that someone else can get some use out of that gaudy bead covered sweater that I thought was so cool back in 1986.
In looking back I realized that my perspective on giving money to panhandlers started to change one day when I was sitting in the Home Depot Parking lot in my car minding my own business waiting for hubby to come of the store with his nuts and bolts. This raggy looking skanky-crack-ho type of woman comes up and knocks on my car window. I roll it down to be polite and she asks in this little wimpy high little voice all nice and respectful like “Excuse me, do you think you could possibly spare a dollar?” well I don’t even have a dollar. I have my ATM card, and 32 cents in my little cupholder thingy in the car and that’s it. I tell her I’m sorry that I don’t have a dollar but here is some change that I have and guess what? She takes it but her whole demeanor changes. Her eyes get this mean glaze over them and her voice got hard and loud and low and she says “yeah well I’ll see what I can do with that!” I was shocked. Here I was giving her my money, which I worked for and it wasn’t good enough, in fact, my 32 cents was apparently an insult! HUH??! I was shocked and I said “Excuse me? The least you can do is say thank you!” She turns around and is all like, “oh I do appreciate it blah blah blah…” yeah right!
Well that really pissed me off and I decided then and there that I wasn’t giving any of more of my money to anyone that asked just because they had the audacity to do so.
So now I’m thinking up more unique ways to get these people away from me when I see them coming, like what if when I see them coming I beat them to the punch and ask them for money! Hey that might send them scurrying faster than my crazy woman approach! Gonna have to try that next time. Yeah! So like, I see one coming and I could say “Hi there, hey, do you think that you could possibly spare ten dollars? I think I lost my wallet and like hey HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING???!!!” BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Yeah. I like it!
Cheers and TTFN.
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